to london with love

so, i made my annual pilgrimage to london once again, and returned with much ambivalence. definitely a heavy heart, because one can never get enough of this city...

madame tussauds- packed with tourists competing with each other to snap pictures with the wax figures. very vexing indeed. i only agreed to visit upon much persuasion from my mother and sister. i would personally not want to go because of the touristy factor and also because celebrities and popular public figures immortalised in wax aren't exactly my visual cup of tea.

covent garden- another one of london's many shopping havens. however, it has a character of its own, probably contributed by the cobblestone streets and older looking buildings.

the tate modern was a bit distressing to say the least, in my opinon. for instance, watching a very disturbing three minute clip of ana mendieta, the late cuban performance artist smother herself in blood and writhe on the ground in a bird-like motion and viewing several of Picasso's expression of female sexuality on canvas. the rest were also very confusing- piles of soap on a string, crushed silver objects on the floor and a room with every object in it splashed with red paint, to name a few.

but i enjoyed the still portraits of sitters posing for the artist, looking incredibly peaceful and calm.

carnaby street- a young, hip and contemporary shopping district nestled in the oxford and regent street area. i really like this place- it's not as busy as the bigger and more popular shopping areas such as oxford street and covent garden and it houses independent labels and quirky shops that you cannot find elsewhere such as this very cute pyjama shop called David and Goliath by the Stupid Factory.

borough market-london's oldest and most famous food market was quite enchanting. there's a huge array of food stalls purveying fine meats, cheeses, jams and preserves, cakes and sweets, you name it. the stall vendors are very friendly and give you samples to help you make the best choice. as we were in a rush having made a reservation at the Pearl for lunch, I didn't have a chance to buy anything to eat there. we did buy some jams and a chocolate chip cookie!

The Pearl Restaurant and Bar at High Holborn- what can i say? the best food i've ever tasted so far. you can taste the top quality ingredients, the mastery of the chef and the precision in the cooking. the pork cheeks with caramelised squid and polenta sauce i had was served in this very elegant dish, very artistically presented and decorated, i wished i had taken a photograph but resisted to avoid being impolite- i was after all in an establishment frequented by london high society. the pork cheeks were the most tender and juiciest meat i have ever had and the pan fried john dory fillets with artichoke gnocchi, caramelised chicken wings and baby artichoke that my mum had were simply amazing. the tasteful swishes of sauce on the white plate were a work of art themselves. dessert was poached prune and almond crumble with almond ice cream and it was simply divine. words just cannot describe the heavenly feeling you get eating this.

this is the best birthday present. i cannot wait to return- the day of which will be the day i receive my first paycheck!

camden town and market- this is london's answer to a mix of tokyo's harajuku district and malaysia's petaling street. that said, it's worth a visit because it just shows how london is so incredibly diverse, mysterious, playful and exciting. towards the food market section, desperate food stall workers cajole customers to partake of their hot noodles and variety of fried, sweet and sour chinese cooking. what i did enjoy was the antiques market where i almost got myself some vintage marilyn monroe photograph prints.

i never leave london without a visit to the west end for a theatre performance. this time, i deliberately chose not to go with a musical from the likes of les mis, mamma mia, we will rock you and so on. i'm a self-professed agatha christie fan and always will remain one. she is the ultimate queen of crime. so, no prizes for guessing, we watched the longest running theatre act in history- The Mousetrap at St Martin's Theatre. It was fantastic- the actors and actresses brilliant and the plot gripping with suspense. Enjoyed every bit of it and would have clapped louder if i could at the curtain call. they say, once you've watched 'the mousetrap', you are a 'partner in crime' so help keep the tradition running and don't reveal whodunnit.

so, london in a nutshell this time- a mix of good and bad. the good- my mission to explore some of london's best loved markets was partially accomplished and i satiated my appetite for luxury at the Pearl. oh, and stopping at Angel tube station to experience western Europe's highest escalator at 60 metres! not for the acrophobic.

the bad- being stuffed in sardine-packed trains in the london underground was quite unpleasant. a horrific stressful rush to euston to catch the train home, just 20 minutes to pull our luggage, fight the tube traffic and change two lines all the way from paddington. God saved us! We arrived on the dot at Euston but the train got delayed by 15 minutes so everything was fine in the end.

to go back to London or not to go back?

That is the question! :)

puffs.

Today, I braved the biting cold, gusty wind and rain to walk to an old gentleman's house to 'interview' or take a history from him. Prior to this, I was feeling abit giddy for some reason yet to be known- it felt frightening to see objects around me spin in circles. I felt like I might lose my balance and fall anytime.

Anyway, I rang the doorbell and opened the door to enter his house. Immediately, the acrid and detestable smell of cigarette smoke infiltrated my nostrils. I hesitantly entered his living room when he had just finished stubbing a cigarettte butt in the overflowing ashtray. I later learnt that he is a heavy smoker, smoking 40 cigarettes a day and he used to smoke 80 a day in the past. He was a nice old man, alright, and I enjoyed talking to him but as I left the house, I took a deep breath of cold air and thought to myself, ' I had risked my own health in there, breathing in all that putrid smoke'.

Every time I walk down a stretch of road with smoking passerbys walking alongside me, I will either hold my breath as I walk past or speed up my walking pace to 'overtake' them. While sitting in the bus, I look out of the window and see smokers lighting cigarettes and puffing away at the bus stops and wonder what in the world had possessed them to take up such a repulsive habit? While waiting for the bus at bus stops, I would walk far away, go up a small hill and rather wait in the rain than stand next to smokers in the sheltered bus stops.

What irks me is the fact that inhaling the unfiltered smoke produced by these smokers puts my lungs and whatnot at a greater risk than if I were to smoke a cigarette myself. As winter begins and the cold weather kicks in, smokers will be lighting up more frequently so it just gets worse from here. What will I do? Keep holding my breath.

This, ladies and gentlemen is my ramble of the week.

I- dawning

take a deep breath,

sing a song of love,

concentrate all spirit and soul on the One.

think about His love,

count every rich blessing,

extend gratitude and adoration.

love Him, reach for Him,

seek Him, follow Him,

never cease to praise Him.

each day, i pray for a glimpse of eternity.

each day, i pray for miracles to unfold.

So much more than arithmetic

'The Lord will perfect that which concerns me.' -Psalm 138:8

A passage from Psalms that really lifted my spirit and spoke right into my heart.

He is indeed the Lifter of our head and the source of all joy and strength.

Even with my surrounding tumult and struggle, He is my Rock and Glory.

I am now 'sort of' thrown into the deep end and know how it feels like to be pushed around, bullied and unfairly treated.

I know how it feels like to have a really bad day, feel tired and drained off every ounce of energy you have yet having to deal with so many other issues.

But Praise You Jesus, there is nothing in this world that can separate me from Your love.

When everything around me seems to fall out of place, I will still be found in You.

It is true that God, you are not arithmetic. You are not science. You are beyond and above all that humanity has tried to equate or define. You are GOD! You reign and You are seated on Your throne. You have everything under control, even when I sometimes think that things are spiralling out of control, I know that from Your vantage point, everything is in control.

"I won't find what I am looking for

If I only 'see' by keeping score,

'Cos I know now you are so much more than arithmetic

'Cos if I add, if I subtract,

If I give it all, try to take some back

I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact

That you are the sum

So You are the one I want."

-lyrics from Brooke Fraser's 'Arithmetic'.

I find it incredibly satisfying when I think about how nothing-not even difficult circumstances can rob me of my faith and hope in You. How I can still cling on to You and say- God, You are still so so amazingly good!!

Love You with every beat of my heart!

the wise hear and follow what they hear.

'seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you'.

-matt6:33

'and he who does not take his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.'

-matt 10:38,39

'enter by the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life, and there are few who find it.'

-matt 7:13,14

The 2nd phase.

The third academic year has commenced and no matter how much I wish I could have my 2.5 months of holiday back in my hands, I know that there is no other way than the way forward. Daunting as this whole year may seem, I would like to believe that He is with me all the way.      

Your Word is a Lamp unto my feet.

I was reminded yesterday as I did my devotion on the importance of clinging tightly to the Word of God. Psalm 119.105- "Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."

Just like how we need to inhale oxygen to power the cells of our body, likewise God's Word should be the perfect antidote for any stressful, hapless moment and the perfect soothing balm for any troubled soul. God's Word is where we seek wisdom, direction and encouragement. The perfect Word for every season of the soul.

The one question I knew I had to answer was this: What happens to your trust in God when you neglect the Bible? 

I know for sure that my trust in God will surely waver should I not cultivate a close and lasting relationship with Him through the reading of His Word. I will start to doubt and allow worry and anxiety to set in because I cannot rebuke the lie of the enemy and proclaim that God is in control of every situation in my life. I won't be able to say that my life is truly surrendered to His will and purpose for me because I start to make decisions and judgements based on my own human understanding. 

It is so easy to get sidetracked when we lose sight of Jesus. The wisdom of the world can only bring us to a certain level of trust and understanding, for instance, I can listen to my doctor's advice and take a pill to relieve my headache, but God's wisdom found in the pages of the Bible can elevate me to a higher and fulfilling level of trust in Him because I know He is able to completely heal me of the headache. All I need is to turn to Him and ask.

I pray that I can truly be a woman that literally clings on to the word of God for my life. This way, when tough times come, I can rely on those trust-building moments of intimacy with Him to bring me through. 

Psalm 56:13:

"..that I may walk in Your presence o God, in Your life-giving light."

I have not much to offer you

Not near what You deserve

But still I come because 

Your cross

Has placed in me my worth.

O Christ my King of sympathy

Whose wounds secure my peace

Your grace extends to call me friend

Your mercy sets me free.

And I know I'm weak

I know I'm unworthy

To call upon Your name

But because of grace

Because of your mercy

I stand here unashamed.

I can't explain this kind of love

I'm humbled and amazed

That You'd come down 

from heaven's heights

And greet me face to face

Here I am,

at Your feet,

In my brokenness complete.

-Unashamed by Starfield

To be Holy or to be sorry.

The pursuit of holiness is not a choice; it is a command and exhortation. "...be holy, because I am holy." (1 Peter 1:16). Tozer described holiness as something heavenly, awe-inspiring, mysterious and fear-evoking. It is also a character of kindness, mercy, purity, moral blamelessness and godliness. 

For us who are Christians and believe in the truth, we ought to strive for a life of holiness. We know what is required of us and everyday, we are forced to make decisions and choices that would reflect on how far we have travelled on this road towards holiness. No one other than ourselves and God knows better, in fact God knows far more than we do, because He searches the very depths of our hearts. 

However, God created us not because He needed us for He is self-sufficient but because He wants us. Therefore, I believe that He desired all things good for us, His intention was to behold and cultivate a close, inseparable bond with His creation. The essence of the heart of the believer who is willing to be penetrated by the Spirit of God and to be moulded into His image is wondrously holy and permeated with this magnificent quality that he/she does not need to toil for it but only yearn and desire for more of it. God will not disappoint the believer who has a heart after Him, a heart that daily seeks Him and desires for more of Him- His holiness. 

It is not grandiose and out of reach. I believe God did not intend for us to be swept into a whirlwind of complex religion only to end up being caught in the middle. That is why we all know that the experience of God is of much greater value than mere puffed up theology. Don't get me wrong, sound doctrine is important but cannot exist without being accompanied by a true experience of the living God. 

So what I need to ensure of in my life, is to have this inexhaustible desire to draw 'feelingly near' to my Creator, to put selfish ambition and limitations of the human mind aside and to long for a life of holiness. 

I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, the word 'holy' seemed definable, which when I think about it now is laughable. Because you can't exactly define holy, just as you can't really define love, because all these have to be felt and experienced. I can remember how my friend used to snicker, "Look at him, he's acting so holy! ', or " Don't try to act all holy in front of me." Definitely a gross misuse of the word 'holy'. And I don't have to go into the multitude of vulgarities coined from this word either. 

Ah, the price to pay when we go the extra mile! But, take heart, because I believe that holiness is a 'sweet and radiant fragrance' that our generation needs to be imbued with so we can impact those around us. 

Remember.

In many ways, I've been longing for today to come because the final exams were taking a toll on me. Every day I would be holed up in the room (a record breaking six days in a row of not going out of the house) and facing the piles and piles of notes to revise. I dreaded looking at the clock as each ticking second would leave me with less time to revise before the day of the exam.

The disappointment of last week's Progress Test haunted me for two days until God reminded me that I should not look back into the past but look ahead into the future. For we live not in the chains of the past. In a sense, I was afraid of history repeating itself. The enemy would try to plant lies in my mind, telling me that my next paper would be difficult, I would go through a mental block and forget all that I have studied.

But, God is so so good because I refused to let the negativity of the situation bring me down and He allowed me to rise again. The day before today's exam, I was able to sing songs of worship ( He even gave me a new song on Sunday!), laugh and be joyful just as if there wasn't an exam today. Yes, I was stressed because there was a lot to cover but I did not allow it to overwhelm me. Just yesterday I was reading Isaiah 35:4:

"Say to those who are fearful hearted, Be strong, do not fear. Behold, your God will come with a vengeance, With the recompense of God, He will come and save you."

There is a beautiful song written by Bob Fitts that I grew up listening to whose lyrics are taken from this verse, I was singing it out and trusting that my God who is mighty to save will indeed, save me.

This morning as I took the bus to the exam venue, and even before the exam started, I was in total peace. I had His peace that surpasses all understanding. (Romans 4:7). My nerves weren't frazzled and I wasn't panicky although I hadn't finish studying everything. And even as I answered the questions, He gave me the peace to slowly think and not panic when tackling certain tricky questions. Praise God!

When I think back on all these years, through all the exams I sat for, through all the dark nights and fearful moments, I can only reflect and remember the outrageous faithfulness of God. He has seen me through every single time, without fail. I am humbled by His mercy and grace.

I have many more years to go in this course and it will be an uphill climb from now on, but I know God will lead me through all the way. And at the end of this journey, the victory is mine. And God to be glorified. I am just a vessel used by Him to reflect His glory. I pray that I will be humbled every single day, living only for Him, stripping off the 'self' in me but filling it with Him alone.

God is loving and kind. He did not only stay by my side throughout this intensive revision period and ultimately the exam itself, He sent so many wonderful people into my life to encourage, pray, support and show love and concern towards me. I always believe that the love of God that shines through acts of kindness and compassion by His people is something so precious and to be treasured. And as the receiver of this gift, I am very blessed. Thank You God for Your amazing love!

* * *

Have been reading Colin Urquhart's book 'Faith For The Future', one of the few books I took from the library at King's. The last chapter had this paragraph which I find especially profound.

"To live a life that is holy is to live a life of love. Such a life cannot be the accomplishment of self-effort; it can only happen through the Holy Spirit being manifested in the weakness of our human nature. That involves not only the constant indwelling of the Holy Spirit, but also the continuing empting of self."

This will be my prayer each day. Whatever time I have on this earth is to be used to fulfil His purposes for my life and to achieve those purposes, I need the Holy Spirit to guide me and lead me. I want to carry the aroma of Christ and touch lives with the fragrance of His love. To allow Him to whisper into my ear and put things in my heart. And yes, I need to continuously die to my flesh and LIVE IN THE SPIRIT.

Also, Tozer in his book, 'The Knowledge of the Holy' said,

"There is a glorified man on the right hand of the Majesty in heaven faithfully representing us there. We are left for a season among men; let us faithfully represent Him here."

Amen.

Supernatural

Supernatural. I love this word. I also love my Lord because He is a supernatural God. He works in the supernatural. And the wonderful gift that I have is that I can live in the supernatural too. I can tap into His pool of supernatural and abundantly receive power and strength. Because the natural is our human weakness-the flesh in us that craves for luxury, for comfort and for life to enfold perfectly without a single crease. It doesn't take us too long to figure out that life in this world, at least, is nothing close to utopia. Daily struggles exist and sometimes, natural circumstances test our patience and resilience.

But, oh, what a glorious thought of Jesus, who is supernatural personified can overturn this bleak and sombre picture I just painted. Because He died on the cross and rose again, because He came to earth and denied Himself for us, we too can experience the supernatural. My heart swells with the immense desire to possess this supernatural gift and to use it to guide my daily living.

I want to live out this supernatural life. I don't want to just be someone who raves about it, speaks wonders about it but does not practise it. The ideal of being free from sin, suffering and shame is absolutely possible. Why? Because of the supernatural! By grace we forgive those who scorn over this truth. And because of this truth, I rejoice, I'm thankful and I want it, I want it and I want it!

Supernatural. An amazing word. Even more amazing, to live it out!

Seek His Face!

Listen to this.
"Thus says the LORD:
Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
But let Him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the LORD, exercising lovingkindness, judgement,and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight," says the LORD.

-Jeremiah 9:23-24

Let us be spurred to know Him intimately and to seek His face always. For He delights in us, His people, yearning for the knowledge of Him and passionate to behold His face. And we glory in this-knowing Him. We glory in the eternal pleasure of enquiring in His temple, in gazing at His beauty and just falling in love with Him.

Nothing else is worth as much as this. So, cast aside every encumbrance, strip off every distraction and SEEK HIS FACE- He who is Mighty to Save, who is our Hope and Deliverer and our Shield and Portion forevermore.

The Battle.

The Christian faith to some, may be boring, banal, irrelevant, outdated and 'churchy'. Where there lacks excitement, life becomes routine and regimented. We are in danger of staggering into a church service, slouched in the pews and listening to a sermon without half expecting our hearts and minds to be blown by it.

Have you found yourself, fixating your attention on the preacher, but having a layer of your thoughts (for we are multi-layered individuals) settling elsewhere, but all of a sudden, you bring that to a screeching halt because you hear something-something so profound and settling that it demands nothing less than all of your attention.

The story of Jacob at the brook of Jabbok is one of those stories that I've heard countless times but never really felt awestruck by. But there comes a point in one's life, where being mindblown by the most unlikeliest of things becomes inevitable.

Jacob fascinates and intrigues me because he is different, in fact I dare say, he dared to be different. He purposed in his heart from the beginning to be different. He was resolute to achieve great things. He defied morality. Many moralists scream murder when discussing Jacob because they cannot comprehend how a man who cheated and bluffed his way through life could have encountered God face to face, sought blessing and received just that. But don't we agree that the Christian life is a life of paradox? We receive blessing to bless others, suffer to gain, die to live.

Jacob found himself being attacked by a stranger in the night. Being a man of formidable strength, he found himself relentlessly fighting his attacker with all the brute and force he could muster. And, he prevailed, the Bible tells us. But watch what happened in the end. He touched the hollow of his thigh and the joint fell out of place. Jacob, left limping and injured. He was defeated wasn't he? After a battle that he thought he had deservedly won, the anticlimax was bitter to swallow. He found himself in a position where he was at the mercy of his attacker, he refused to let go and as he tugged on, his hollowed cries was ' I will not let you go unless you bless me!" -Gen 32:36.

Frederick Buechner in his sermon, "The Magnificent Defeat" tells us of how, like Jacob, we find ourselves battling God as our enemy.

'Our enemy because before giving us everything, he demands of us everything; before giving us life, he demands our lives- our selves, our wills, our treasure.'

The human soul can be as fragile as a white feather but it can also be as formidable as a battleship in war. God will shatter this soul in defeat, just as He did with Jacob. Because there is a blessing to call ours at the end. A blessing that seems worth everything we have given in for, even our very lives. We all have our own personal battles to fight- it is my prayer that we will never ever give up.

And, so back to my earlier point, it is not a mere coincidence that as I'd read Beuchner's sermon on Jacob's magnificent defeat, I also heard about him in the preaching on Sunday. There is a parallel to be drawn and I'm glad to have come to the full understanding of it.

He is there.

If I would stop searching for answers to my disappointment, my shortcomings and failures, I would then know that none of it matters because God is out there, in His invincibility, He is watching and He wants me to see through Kingdom lenses, to see beyond, to embrace Him for who He is and to seek His face, a glimpse of His glory.

If all I had was one last breath,
I'd spend it just to sing Your praise,
Just to say Your name.
If all I had was one last prayer,
I'd pray it 'cause I know You're always listening,
If I could live a thousand lives, bind the hands of time,
I would spend every moment by Your side.

'Cause I, I know You're there, I know You see me
You're the air I breathe,
You are the ground beneath me.
I know You're there, I know You hear me
I can find You anywhere.

If all I had was one more song to sing,
I would raise my voice to make the heavens ring,
If all I had was one last chance, I'd take it
I would stake it on You.
If I could raise up high and catch a glimpse of every eye,
I would make them believe,
What I feel inside.

I know You're there.

-Jeff Chandler for Casting Crowns.

This song is hauntingly beautiful, it spurs me to live my life just like that. To know that He is there, all the time, His love for each and every one of us is -worth us staking our lives, our faith and our hopes on Him. As Philip Yancey puts it:

" Someone is out there, I realized. Someone is watching life as it unfolds on this planet. More, Someone is there who loves me. It was a startling feeling of wild hope, a feeling so new and overwhelming that it seemed fully worth risking my life on".

London buzz

I was never too keen to go down to London. Never. I had this impression that it was this vast, sprawling, unfriendly city full of people walking too fast for their own good, jostling into the trains during rush hour and perpetually having their noses stuck into 'The London Paper' or ears jammed with iPod earphones.

I also thought London screamed opulence, which I was quite right about, having gawked at the whitewashed elegant buildings, impeccably dressed people walking down the streets, the trendy cafes and shops bidding me to enter in.

But being a cynic isn't very nice at times, because you are proven wrong.
I was (and still am) pleasantly enchanted by this city. It cast a certain spell on me- wooing me to explore all it had to offer and hence, the making of this second trip down.

The curiosity streak I always had since a child left me leaping for excitement as each time I surfaced from the underground, I discovered a new street, a new square- a whole new world of sorts. The sights, sounds and smells, the joy of discovering the shortest route to take on the tube, the plethora of colourful tube lines, each with its distinct character-I was enamoured.

The London Palladium comes alive with the Sound of Music.

Watching a West End musical according to Wikipedia, is a must-do tourist activity in London. Enjoying a reputation as the English speaking world's highest standard in theatre performance, along with Broadway in New York, West End musicals are world-famous and award-winning thus I cannot but thank God for the wonderful opportunity I had to enjoy two musicals so far, The Phantom of the Opera and most recently, The Sound of Music.

The climax of every musical for me is the curtain call; when the stage performers stand hand in hand and take their bow as the audience laud them for an amazing performance. It's almost as if I can savour the sense of satisfaction and achievement from the cast after all the hard work,blood, sweat and tears poured into the production.

Portobello market crowded with weekend bargain hunters

I've never really enjoyed street markets, partly because the only ones I'd been to were the likes of Petaling Street back home, where imitation Rolex watches and Gucci purses abound. So, I really did enjoy Portobello Market in Notting Hill for I discovered that stall vendors actually do sell you authentic silver and vintage jewellery. I spent quite some time trawling the stalls, admiring the knick knacks sold, trying on little trinkets and fancy ornaments and watching street performers serenade the passing crowds with their own brand of music.

The charming Hummingbird Bakery on Portobello Road.

Sunday morning was at Hillsong London in Dominion Theatre, Tottenham Court Road. We were greeted by friendly people in blue tops along the way and thoroughly enjoyed worshiping God as His presence filled the theatre. The worship team was amazing. You can sense the passion, the heart and the worship. Not just the electrifying beats of the drums, the pulsating bass guitar and loud music but real worship. The music was just the accompaniment.

Food was big on our list. We satisfied our rumbling tummies with roast duck on the first night and- such a blessing from Sheena's aunts and cousins as we feasted on home-cooked Chinese fare the second night. There was roast pork, tofu steamed with minced meat, duck (again!), abalone, mushrooms, rojak (made from scratch!), grilled chicken, fried vermicelli and dessert of lychees and Ben n Jerry's. Absolutely stuffed but satisfied.

On our last day, we decided to treat ourselves to a good lunch so off we trotted to my recommendation, Galileo's Trattoria for starters of polenta and bacon and mains of veal wrapped with Parma ham and two different risottos (one with seafood and another with smoked cheese and courgettes). A decadent and sinfully sweet tiramisu completed our meal.

As we boarded the train back to Manchester, we knew the trip was fruitful -we did see a musical, spend quality time together and God was watching and protecting us the whole way. Praise Him for that!

Thank You God for this blessing, You are greatly to be praised! :)

Diamonds in the dust

What I strive for, is to be entirely attuned to God, so much so that all my threads of ugly ( of character, thoughts, speech) cease to exist.

We all, I believe, have a certain thread of ugly. Sometimes, subconsciously, we judge, demean, derogate and stick invisible labels on others. We struggle to have faith in dark times. This thread of ugly surfaces at times, making itself manifest as we cower in dismay.

But, no, I want this thread of ugly in me to gradually dissipate as I strive to be transformed daily into the likeness of Him. I want my faith to soar, in the good times and bad. Even when His ways don't make sense to me, I would refuse to allow seeds of doubt to flourish.

It is very real, the entrapment of the enemy. Just a couple of days ago, my Shanghainese coursemate was reciting a paragraph or so of ' Your Year of the Dragon horoscope for 2009" to me.

There is no superstition in Christ. There is no such thing as good luck. That is why I struggle to hide my repulsion when people exchange 'good luck' wishes just before an important exam.

When we experience a string of unfortunate events or when we go through a rough patch, it is certainly not a case of 'bad luck', but I would like to think that it is us who will come through refined, stronger and victorious because of the hand of the Lord on our lives. So, yes, have faith, bucketfuls of it!

When we believe, what comes naturally would be this mountain moving faith, this unshakable grounded faith that we have in our Lord Jesus. So when the going gets tough, we are not to be moved, but will come forth glittering with hope and confidence, like diamonds in the dust.

Have a blessed week :)

white winter wonderland

Thank You God for You created snow- this powdery fine, icing sugar white thing called snow which drives the inner child in me wild with excitement.

:-)

humble beginnings

To kickstart this, am psyched to share this new song I wrote two days ago. At least, just the lyrics for the time being while the actual production of the song gets sorted out. hee.
here we go.

Distances and imaginations,
They won't separate us,
Like the vastness of the ocean.
You who...spin the world
Around Your fingers,
As we stand amazed,
At Your greatness..

Father in Heaven,
Hear our hearts cry,
And the song of our praises,
As they rise to You in a chorus,
May it be a sweet fragrance.

Chorus:
You who reign,
Won't You shine Your glory
As we seek Your face today

You who rule,
Over every thing on earth,
We give our hearts to You,
We give our lives to You,
Won't You use us Lord today.