the wise hear and follow what they hear.

'seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you'.

-matt6:33

'and he who does not take his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.'

-matt 10:38,39

'enter by the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life, and there are few who find it.'

-matt 7:13,14

The 2nd phase.

The third academic year has commenced and no matter how much I wish I could have my 2.5 months of holiday back in my hands, I know that there is no other way than the way forward. Daunting as this whole year may seem, I would like to believe that He is with me all the way.      

Your Word is a Lamp unto my feet.

I was reminded yesterday as I did my devotion on the importance of clinging tightly to the Word of God. Psalm 119.105- "Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."

Just like how we need to inhale oxygen to power the cells of our body, likewise God's Word should be the perfect antidote for any stressful, hapless moment and the perfect soothing balm for any troubled soul. God's Word is where we seek wisdom, direction and encouragement. The perfect Word for every season of the soul.

The one question I knew I had to answer was this: What happens to your trust in God when you neglect the Bible? 

I know for sure that my trust in God will surely waver should I not cultivate a close and lasting relationship with Him through the reading of His Word. I will start to doubt and allow worry and anxiety to set in because I cannot rebuke the lie of the enemy and proclaim that God is in control of every situation in my life. I won't be able to say that my life is truly surrendered to His will and purpose for me because I start to make decisions and judgements based on my own human understanding. 

It is so easy to get sidetracked when we lose sight of Jesus. The wisdom of the world can only bring us to a certain level of trust and understanding, for instance, I can listen to my doctor's advice and take a pill to relieve my headache, but God's wisdom found in the pages of the Bible can elevate me to a higher and fulfilling level of trust in Him because I know He is able to completely heal me of the headache. All I need is to turn to Him and ask.

I pray that I can truly be a woman that literally clings on to the word of God for my life. This way, when tough times come, I can rely on those trust-building moments of intimacy with Him to bring me through. 

Psalm 56:13:

"..that I may walk in Your presence o God, in Your life-giving light."

I have not much to offer you

Not near what You deserve

But still I come because 

Your cross

Has placed in me my worth.

O Christ my King of sympathy

Whose wounds secure my peace

Your grace extends to call me friend

Your mercy sets me free.

And I know I'm weak

I know I'm unworthy

To call upon Your name

But because of grace

Because of your mercy

I stand here unashamed.

I can't explain this kind of love

I'm humbled and amazed

That You'd come down 

from heaven's heights

And greet me face to face

Here I am,

at Your feet,

In my brokenness complete.

-Unashamed by Starfield

To be Holy or to be sorry.

The pursuit of holiness is not a choice; it is a command and exhortation. "...be holy, because I am holy." (1 Peter 1:16). Tozer described holiness as something heavenly, awe-inspiring, mysterious and fear-evoking. It is also a character of kindness, mercy, purity, moral blamelessness and godliness. 

For us who are Christians and believe in the truth, we ought to strive for a life of holiness. We know what is required of us and everyday, we are forced to make decisions and choices that would reflect on how far we have travelled on this road towards holiness. No one other than ourselves and God knows better, in fact God knows far more than we do, because He searches the very depths of our hearts. 

However, God created us not because He needed us for He is self-sufficient but because He wants us. Therefore, I believe that He desired all things good for us, His intention was to behold and cultivate a close, inseparable bond with His creation. The essence of the heart of the believer who is willing to be penetrated by the Spirit of God and to be moulded into His image is wondrously holy and permeated with this magnificent quality that he/she does not need to toil for it but only yearn and desire for more of it. God will not disappoint the believer who has a heart after Him, a heart that daily seeks Him and desires for more of Him- His holiness. 

It is not grandiose and out of reach. I believe God did not intend for us to be swept into a whirlwind of complex religion only to end up being caught in the middle. That is why we all know that the experience of God is of much greater value than mere puffed up theology. Don't get me wrong, sound doctrine is important but cannot exist without being accompanied by a true experience of the living God. 

So what I need to ensure of in my life, is to have this inexhaustible desire to draw 'feelingly near' to my Creator, to put selfish ambition and limitations of the human mind aside and to long for a life of holiness. 

I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, the word 'holy' seemed definable, which when I think about it now is laughable. Because you can't exactly define holy, just as you can't really define love, because all these have to be felt and experienced. I can remember how my friend used to snicker, "Look at him, he's acting so holy! ', or " Don't try to act all holy in front of me." Definitely a gross misuse of the word 'holy'. And I don't have to go into the multitude of vulgarities coined from this word either. 

Ah, the price to pay when we go the extra mile! But, take heart, because I believe that holiness is a 'sweet and radiant fragrance' that our generation needs to be imbued with so we can impact those around us. 

Remember.

In many ways, I've been longing for today to come because the final exams were taking a toll on me. Every day I would be holed up in the room (a record breaking six days in a row of not going out of the house) and facing the piles and piles of notes to revise. I dreaded looking at the clock as each ticking second would leave me with less time to revise before the day of the exam.

The disappointment of last week's Progress Test haunted me for two days until God reminded me that I should not look back into the past but look ahead into the future. For we live not in the chains of the past. In a sense, I was afraid of history repeating itself. The enemy would try to plant lies in my mind, telling me that my next paper would be difficult, I would go through a mental block and forget all that I have studied.

But, God is so so good because I refused to let the negativity of the situation bring me down and He allowed me to rise again. The day before today's exam, I was able to sing songs of worship ( He even gave me a new song on Sunday!), laugh and be joyful just as if there wasn't an exam today. Yes, I was stressed because there was a lot to cover but I did not allow it to overwhelm me. Just yesterday I was reading Isaiah 35:4:

"Say to those who are fearful hearted, Be strong, do not fear. Behold, your God will come with a vengeance, With the recompense of God, He will come and save you."

There is a beautiful song written by Bob Fitts that I grew up listening to whose lyrics are taken from this verse, I was singing it out and trusting that my God who is mighty to save will indeed, save me.

This morning as I took the bus to the exam venue, and even before the exam started, I was in total peace. I had His peace that surpasses all understanding. (Romans 4:7). My nerves weren't frazzled and I wasn't panicky although I hadn't finish studying everything. And even as I answered the questions, He gave me the peace to slowly think and not panic when tackling certain tricky questions. Praise God!

When I think back on all these years, through all the exams I sat for, through all the dark nights and fearful moments, I can only reflect and remember the outrageous faithfulness of God. He has seen me through every single time, without fail. I am humbled by His mercy and grace.

I have many more years to go in this course and it will be an uphill climb from now on, but I know God will lead me through all the way. And at the end of this journey, the victory is mine. And God to be glorified. I am just a vessel used by Him to reflect His glory. I pray that I will be humbled every single day, living only for Him, stripping off the 'self' in me but filling it with Him alone.

God is loving and kind. He did not only stay by my side throughout this intensive revision period and ultimately the exam itself, He sent so many wonderful people into my life to encourage, pray, support and show love and concern towards me. I always believe that the love of God that shines through acts of kindness and compassion by His people is something so precious and to be treasured. And as the receiver of this gift, I am very blessed. Thank You God for Your amazing love!

* * *

Have been reading Colin Urquhart's book 'Faith For The Future', one of the few books I took from the library at King's. The last chapter had this paragraph which I find especially profound.

"To live a life that is holy is to live a life of love. Such a life cannot be the accomplishment of self-effort; it can only happen through the Holy Spirit being manifested in the weakness of our human nature. That involves not only the constant indwelling of the Holy Spirit, but also the continuing empting of self."

This will be my prayer each day. Whatever time I have on this earth is to be used to fulfil His purposes for my life and to achieve those purposes, I need the Holy Spirit to guide me and lead me. I want to carry the aroma of Christ and touch lives with the fragrance of His love. To allow Him to whisper into my ear and put things in my heart. And yes, I need to continuously die to my flesh and LIVE IN THE SPIRIT.

Also, Tozer in his book, 'The Knowledge of the Holy' said,

"There is a glorified man on the right hand of the Majesty in heaven faithfully representing us there. We are left for a season among men; let us faithfully represent Him here."

Amen.

Supernatural

Supernatural. I love this word. I also love my Lord because He is a supernatural God. He works in the supernatural. And the wonderful gift that I have is that I can live in the supernatural too. I can tap into His pool of supernatural and abundantly receive power and strength. Because the natural is our human weakness-the flesh in us that craves for luxury, for comfort and for life to enfold perfectly without a single crease. It doesn't take us too long to figure out that life in this world, at least, is nothing close to utopia. Daily struggles exist and sometimes, natural circumstances test our patience and resilience.

But, oh, what a glorious thought of Jesus, who is supernatural personified can overturn this bleak and sombre picture I just painted. Because He died on the cross and rose again, because He came to earth and denied Himself for us, we too can experience the supernatural. My heart swells with the immense desire to possess this supernatural gift and to use it to guide my daily living.

I want to live out this supernatural life. I don't want to just be someone who raves about it, speaks wonders about it but does not practise it. The ideal of being free from sin, suffering and shame is absolutely possible. Why? Because of the supernatural! By grace we forgive those who scorn over this truth. And because of this truth, I rejoice, I'm thankful and I want it, I want it and I want it!

Supernatural. An amazing word. Even more amazing, to live it out!